Let’s talk about sex …

… and periods and perimenopause. You too, dudes

Ah, sexual and menstrual health—stop!—You, there who saw the word “menstrual” and were about to hit delete. Stop. Look, I get it for some of you this is probably the last great frontier of awkward conversations. Others might think this doesn’t apply to me. But guess what? It doesn’t have to be weird. And, yes, it applies to everyone. Good sexual health = better vibes for all, no matter who you're vibing with.😉 Plus reproductive health is about more than sex. But more about that in a minute. First, meet Emily Coccia of Ms. Moxie’s Moon Shop.

Emily Coccia in Ms. Moxie’s Moon Shop in Alexandria, Virginia

Coccia is on a mission to make these conversations normal, inclusive, and even fun. Or at the very least help us handle a quick chat about hormones without breaking into a cold sweat. She wants everyone—whether you’re navigating your first period, sweating through perimenopause, are a confused dad, uncle, or guncle trying to figure out what the heck a menstrual cup is, or a well-meaning partner wondering why the pelvic floor needs a trainer—to feel welcome.

For Coccia, who spent years supporting women entrepreneurs, a chance visit to Ms. Moxie's Moon Shop in Alexandria, Virginia began her pivot into becoming one. "I walked in and thought: How did someone build something so authentically me without knowing me?" she told me over the phone. After reaching out to the owner—a remarkable woman who had battled and beaten breast cancer while launching the shop in 2022—a casual "if I ever owned a place like this..." comment turned into a serious proposition. Coccia took over the menstrual health boutique in January 2024.

The boutique is a one-stop shop for everything from pantyliners to libido boosters. But Coccia also wants the boutique to be a safe space where people can openly learn about and discuss women's health issues and find community. We spoke about how she facilitates that education, breaking the taboo on talking flow, and why this is an issue for everyone. Our conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.

There are several online menstrual health shops, but fewer than a dozen brick-and-mortar boutiques in the world. Why is it important to you to have Ms. Moxie’s be a physical shop?

We want to meet people where they are. For a lot of people, their comfort level is online. That’s why we have an e-commerce shop and local delivery. But we also want to have a place where you can really see or feel the products, where you can ask questions. We want you to feel period underwear and know this one is thicker than this one, this is made out of cotton and this one is made out of spandex. There are a lot of menstrual cups out there. To have someone show you how to fold it and insert it means we’re not wasting time and money buying products that don’t work for us.

Complementary to that is that we do workshops and events. We work to educate people about the pelvic floor or menopause or first periods. It’s just a space where you don’t feel weird talking about topics that have long been taboo. It’s really powerful.

Tell us about the educational component, about the workshops.

I’ve created an advisory board that helps us select products for the store. They’re practitioners and keep up on the research. They run workshops on everything from your first period to perimenopause to how dads can talk about menstruation. Every household is different. We’re not just creating a safe space for women. We’re creating a safe space for everyone to explore and grow. In order to break the stigma and taboo, everyone has to be involved.

Why does everyone need to be involved? Why isn’t this just a women’s issue?

You have dads of daughters, male-female couples trying to get pregnant or navigate painful intercourse, people who have gone through medical menopause, or who have had a uterus removed. Not everyone menstruates. But we’re all in this together. It's important for partners to know what’s going on with each other. It means people can better support each other. It can strengthen relationships. We’ve had a number of couples come in together and it’s opened up conversations together. We’ll take out the period pain stimulator….

Wait, what is a period pain stimulator?

It’s a device similar to a TENS unit that constricts the muscles. The pain we feel is the uterus contracting to shed the lining. We’ve been able to associate different levels of pain with how that relates to average period pain or to something like endometriosis.

Someone tries this on when they’re not menstruating and it helps them understand if their pain is average or not. It can lead us to talking about menstrual pain or fibroids or endometriosis. And if a partner tries it on, especially one who has never menstruated, it can help build understanding and empathy.

What do you think the existence of Ms. Moxie’s says about the changing norms about women’s sexual health, if anything?

Education leads to empathy and understanding. It leads us to ask more questions. We’re not going to break taboos without education as a significant piece of that. When it comes to women’s health, things are shifting. People are becoming more open and using more scientific terms. One of my pet peeves is when people say vagina for everything when they mean vulva. And we’re seeing more correct use of terms. Menopause is more in the news now. That doesn’t mean more people are comfortable talking about it. Or that more people understand it. Things like that. The shift is slow. We still have a long way to go. But things are shifting. And I feel like Ms Moxie’s is a small piece of that, a small piece of a much larger shift.

Ovary and out,
Kelly